Because Merica!

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My business visit to US was my maiden outside India. I am penning down a few interesting thoughts. This being the first of the two blog posts.

I now know why the word fuck(-ing) is so common in Murica! It’s the things in USA that make you use the word so often- especially for someone who is not so familiar with the settings.

These are my ‘first reactions’ to random things I saw across The States (though I have lived only in one State- WA).

Roads- fucking awesome

Traffic- fucking disciplined
Beyond imagination.

Climate- fucking cold

Cars- fucking huge.
I mean they don’t drive cars, they drive Rams and Tanks! Toyota Fortuner dominates India's roads- but is akin to a Tata Nano in front of GMCs Volvos and Jeeps o'there! 

Uber- fucking delightful.
We took 3 Uber rides and I was absolutely astonished by their hospitality. I am dedicating a separate article on one of the rides

Lift- fucking swift
By the time our office lift zapped into 11th floor from ground, our lift here had closed its doors.

People to work with- fucking courteous
I mean it. In 10 days I heard Excuse Me & Thank You in my client office more than I have in 20 years in India. I was so cautious in walking in office corridors that I wished I had a lane change indicator on my hands!

Fat People- fucking obese
If you think you are fat. Go to USA and get your confidence boosted.

Indians speaking English- fucking accentful
Not even close to (character) Raj from TBBT. Some kind of unholy aura makes the usually speaking ‘Bhes ki aankh’ & ‘Haa bey’ churners into ‘Au rite’ & ‘Aabsooleewootlay’. Poseurs.  

Food- fucking undercooked.
I went to a total of 10 restaurants, and I was able to fill my tummy only twice. 

Beer- fucking cheap
Beer is cheaper than bottled Water.

Tap Water- fucking drinkable.
I had called my hotel receptionist requesting her to send drinking water, as we always do in India. She responded “Use the tap water- it is drinkable” and I was like “Oh, Seriously?”
*Welcome to America biyatch*

Phones- fucking Apple iPhones
Here you buy an iPhone to show the world you can buy an iPhone. There you buy an iPhone simply because they think only iPhone exists. Android is still a bot for them. And Apple means iPhone not the fruit. Wow.

TV Series- fucking watchable
No comparison with Indian Soapies. If we replace Indian Saas Bahu dailies with a few American series, I am sure India’s productivity will quadruple. I got a chance to watch decade old series’ like Seinfeild, Married with Children etc. and I loved it!


TV Commercials- fucking dull
Post MBA I have started to watch TV Commercials more than actual serials. I must say India makes better TV commercials, in general.

I hope no sentiments were hurt by my writeup. If they were, then they were Because Merica!


Comments

Unknown said…
Fuckin interesting take!
November 29, 2015 at 12:48 AM
Unknown said…
Enjoyed reading especially there working culture n food part ..
May 18, 2016 at 6:56 PM
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